Peter Parker, Mary Jane Watson

will we ever be there, still here still having hope.

I hope the new year brings good things.

Woke up this morning to both of my cats sleeping with me, then rolled over only to see the one hit the other one in the face. oh it's going to be a merry christmas.

In brightest day

hope you are having a happy christmas eve.

sometimes you just don't see the light till it is to late.

is it foolish of me to still hope? my head says yes, but my heart says to hold on.

365 letters

It takes a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone. But it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Blues Brothers.

some days just a little hint, sign or anything would be nice... but what is faith if it is not tested.

why did it take so long for me to see? I pray every day that its not to late, and remember the things you said that give me hope.

Mornings sometimes are just terrible.

When you screw up, and you finally get your head out of your ass and realize you lost something that you wanted so bad. Do you give up, or do you fight every day with yourself and the obstacles to try to get it back. Sorry I told, I just needed you to know.

i'm not done running yet

I know one day none of this will be in vein. one day i'll be able to sit across from you with my coffee while you giggle. i miss making the smooching noises on your cheek and hearing you giggle in my ear...

my kitty growls at me when I move my legs when she is sleeping.

There is no victory without struggle

Sometimes waiting is the hardest battle.

I miss those icy feet ...

it's funny how such a small cat can take up so much room on the bed.

I've always wanted to say "Live From New York, It's Saturday Night!"

http://www.wnep.com/videogallery/66674745/News/Christkindl-Markt-a-Mifflinburg-Tradition

mom and charlie were on the news.

my mind is racing and killing me.

stay safe, stay warm, stay dry.

Some days I doubt everything and everyone. Everything you told me, everything I know, everything I feel. Those days I just feel like laying in bed and giving up. Giving up seems so easy all of the time, it seems a lot easier than fighting with my self, and telling myself that one day you will come back. That one day the things you said will come to pass. That one day your dessert that needs a lot of time (the name escapes me now)will be ready.

I got scared and ran, and in doing so hurt you. But sometimes you don't deserve what you had till you lose it. Because I was to thick headed I let it slip away. Now it's just fighting to get a little bit back, I would love for all of it. But that takes time, and wont happen right away. I like to think it will happen.

I pray to God that your safe, I pray that you are doing well. But sometimes it's hard because you are so far.

Maybe writing in this is pathetic. But it is one of the only sure fire ways I know how to get a hold of you, and something I know you possibly read.

My mind is my worse enemy and will try to kill me everyday.

we both know I am stupid, but we both also know how hard I am trying.

fighting over the couch together, watching santa clause is coming to town, and elf.

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."

When Charlie proposed to my mom he told her that he could wait for her forever.

forever is a long time but waiting for that person till they have their life right, and they are prepared to meet with you again and you get to see them, hear them talk, giggle, heck even breath. I think it will be worth it.

What makes a person the way they are? Is it the way that they act? The people they know? Or how they have been treated and the circumstances around them? Everything makes a person the way that they are, every little anomaly in life helps to create the personality of the person. Death, love, hate, lust, joy and fear, every emotion that has been bottled or harbored into the human spirit.

You can either embrace these anomalies, or you can try to run from them. Everything ends with them catching up with you in the end.

It's not to late, never to late.

"Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory."

we still need a Jurassic park marathon...

going through each day, one day at a time. And knowing that one day that everything will get better.

you can't rush perfection

heyyyy ladddddy

every sunday I check to see if my post secret will be up. and every day I see if you tried to contact me...

Fall Out Boy - Sugar, We're Goin Down (Concept Version)

sometimes I just want that sign that says holding on will be worth it, that waiting will be worth it. I know it will... but a sign would be nice...

Changing the past is impossible. Mistakes were made. But now that I realize how wrong I was the only thing I can do is try to make.those mistakes into good things. To work those mistakes on a foundation of what not to do again. I still haven't given up hope. And I may never. But its hard to just sit and wait. My mind is my worse enemy.

No shave november is killing my face, can't wait till december 1st to shave it off.

I'm thankful for the perseverance to see the error of my ways and try to correct it, to have the ability to fight for just the chance to talk to someone again face to face.

i'm thankful for my family who loves me.

If truth be told, I like having to fight my way back in. It makes everything worth so much more. nothing should ever be easy.

honeybunchesmuffincake...

The fight getting there is half the battle, the other half is the fight with yourself telling yourself not to give up hope.

just trying to find my way.

I hate winter, my bloody noses always seem to be worse and more frequent.

It is never to late to try, and never wise to give up hope.

I'm searching and fighting not because I have to be, but because I want to be.

some days are just harder than others.

what is living if it is without hope.

I'm trying... I'm trying as hard as I can.

I can't do this all on my own. I'm no Superman.

punch buggy, no punch back.

remember that time in target you made me hold your purse and I just kind of wandered off. and then you yelled "Hey You!" from across the isle and a bunch of people looked at you, yeah that still makes me giggle.

you cannot change the past, you can only work on the future.

I just read on a blog that I randomly stumbled upon "Have you made someone smile today"
It makes me think of you, and my mom. Both are happy cheerful people.

Your cooking/baking

tracing my chest tattoo

"hey mister"

Giggling.

Fighting over the couch.

and "Kitty!"

I wish that I could have seen this all before. But if we weren't here now, I wouldn't have to fight for you. You are worth fighting for. What we had was worth fighting for. you as a best friend was worth fighting for. all of your quirks are worth fighting for.

I am just hoping that I have the strength to fight long enough, because I just want to be able to see you again.

there is always hope.

I want you to know, that if you ever need me, I will be there for you. Hopefully fast enough.

I know you know me, I know you remember all of the good times with the bad times.

I know you remember how good of friends we were and how I respected your privacy, I don't want you think I am trying to cause drama because I am not. Things got blown out of proportion.

I want you to remember something I told you though, remember your surroundings, because you never know when you might need to know how to get somewhere by yourself.

smelling gum

you were my best friend, a true love, and I just threw it away because I was scared... dealing with that everyday kills me inside day in and night out.

I don't know why I do this to myself but I work myself up so much... I just don't want you to go, I want us to have a fighting chance. I want to make things right. I miss holding you and cuddling with you.

my mind had always been my worse enemy, i over think things and get myself worked up for nothing. but it's hard not to think about the person you care about and how stupid you are for running away. yesterday was hard, but thank god my mom was there so I could come over and cry on her shoulder.

please don't go.

stupid

Ok so I got told that you moved, and in that single moment I was devastated, the last time I cried that hard was when my grandfather died. I'm sorry for the panic, but I still care so much and want to be with you.

You see this is why I kick myself

Two years ago I was to stupid to see that best girl was standing right in front of me, then I do see it but I don't realize that she isn't like every other girl I dated she was special. Because when I was down she would bring me up, when I was happy she was next to me, trying to enjoy the same things. And me I wish I had repaid her in kind, I wish that I was there for her more often then not. I wish I hadn't gotten so carried up in my own agenda to see she wasn't always happy like she should have been. Did I love her Yes, I still do. Why did I leave her, because I was stupid and got scared. I had everything I ever wanted right there in front of me and when I saw that prospect, I ran. Not a day goes by that I don't regret that day. Even after I got off the phone with you and take everything back... but I couldn't. Now I am stuck with the memories that haunt me day in and night out. With not even being able to talk to you because you don't want to hear from me or god knows see me. I'm sorry that I broke your heart I'm sorry that I pushed you away. But I miss you and still care so much for you... I wish you would see that I know that I still have to be there somewhere in your heart and in the back of your mind, whether you want me there or not.

I just pray that the things you said do come true, because I miss you more than the sunflower misses the sun. you'll all ways be my honeybunchesmuffincake and my heyyyy laddddy, and I always want to be your mister. I miss you christina so much.

One year later

"No matter what you do where the winds carry you. You will always be in my heart and on my mind. And I'll be right here waiting for you."

It's funny how it still hasn't changed one year later. I'm just trying to become the best I can be....but it's so hard.

funny

on my blog i just got an add for how to stop depression. heh if only it were that simple.

I just want to know that everything you said is still a factor, that one day we will realize how stupid we are and that we will put the past away and embrace what should have happened long ago. I want to know that I am still on your back burner waiting to be your perfect dish.

I guess i'm never going to be good enough again...

I've never felt so hollow

I've been feeling like everything is a front lately. I feel like I will l will never move on and find happiness. i feel like I am just one big screw up who ran away from his one chance.

when you know you know, well I knew once and I should have done something about it. Then maybe I wouldn't have these haunting dreams or this sinking feeling when I think about you.

years have gone by but I still miss you, care about you, and have a place in my heart for you. I've done lots of things to try to contact you and I guess you just don't want to be found...but maybe one day you will see my post secret.

i'm an old abandoned church with empty pews and broken isles.

I just want you out of my head. you have no right to be there anymore, especially after picking me up to throw me down.

when will it.end

Again i get hit with the hurt of love. This time with someone older than me, she got out of a bad relationship after that we started talking we grew close to eachother then she got scared. It was looking like I was going towards a nice happy little life with her two little kids me and her. I didn't care what anyone thought and I still don't, but now she is scared and I'm hurting. Once again. It helps that i have two jobs now, all I do is work about 70 hours a week. Did I mention my new car. 2006 jeep liberty. But heres the same thing. I'm sick of getting lied to by woman. I just want someone to prove me wrong.

prove me wrong

Prove to me everything wasn't a lie. That all the words that came out of your mouth weren't dripping with lies. I hold you accountable. But will you just run and hide or will you find me.

You will never hurt me again.