Some days I doubt everything and everyone. Everything you told me, everything I know, everything I feel. Those days I just feel like laying in bed and giving up. Giving up seems so easy all of the time, it seems a lot easier than fighting with my self, and telling myself that one day you will come back. That one day the things you said will come to pass. That one day your dessert that needs a lot of time (the name escapes me now)will be ready.

I got scared and ran, and in doing so hurt you. But sometimes you don't deserve what you had till you lose it. Because I was to thick headed I let it slip away. Now it's just fighting to get a little bit back, I would love for all of it. But that takes time, and wont happen right away. I like to think it will happen.

I pray to God that your safe, I pray that you are doing well. But sometimes it's hard because you are so far.

Maybe writing in this is pathetic. But it is one of the only sure fire ways I know how to get a hold of you, and something I know you possibly read.

My mind is my worse enemy and will try to kill me everyday.