I'm feeling Bleh today.

So I stayed up till about 3 in the morning last night, I just couldn't really sleep, but there was no point of being online anymore. Yeah I guess I should have prepared my self for rejection, I never know why, but it always happens. Don't think of me as someone who just trys to go out with every girl I see, because what matters to me is how they treat me, how they make me feel. You could be as beutiful as can be, but if you cross over the boundries to much, or are just not legaly retarded but you do some pretty retrarded things, yeah forget you.

I've been single for about 2 and a half years now, it was fun for a little while, after I got over the heartache, then Heather came back into play, yeah Mistake, "If they hurt you once they will hurt you again." Then after her Dez, turned out the peer presure of college was a little to much for her, guess some people just can't take it or say no. I just got angry at those two, for playing with me like they did, so they took little time to get over. Amanda, well she is great, but the distance, and the lack of seeing eachother and the fact that she really doesn't want to date now, well thats not really good for me. Then I met Denise, yeah it seemed really fun and she is really flirty with me, so I started to like her, something would always happen though on days I would ask her to go out though, sick, which she complains about that a lot, so no big deal, and the weather, both are reasonable excuses. But she likes some guy who lives far away and can't deal with a relationship now. 

Then I just think to myself. Will I ever have a steady relationship, or will I just have to adopt my kids in order to have them and live alone with my adopted kids and cats. Thats the way it is looking, reall depressed and don't want to go to any classes really, but I have to, I have to make myself go, because it is the only way I'll get better. I really don't care who reads this how they read it, or if they read it. really it was just to get it out.